Library Guides: BA1002: Our Space: Networks, Narrative and the Making of Place Guide: Nature Case Study Exemplar

Instructions: Mouse over the text below to see annotations giving explanations and information on the writing process, parts of an essay, in-text citations and referencing.

Warning: The case study exemplar below is an example of high-achieving student work from a previous year. Please note the author may have been working to slightly different assignment task requirements, e.g. word length. Make sure you review the assessment task instructions and marking rubric in your BA1002 Subject Outline to ensure you complete the task correctly.

Power and exchange Topic is the general subject or issue that is to be written about

Essays for this subject MUST address two key concepts (here the writer has chosen the key concept POWER and the key concept EXCHANGE). in the time of the poxContext is the setting and level of focus for the general topic. : How smallpox and its vaccine piggybacked on the routes of exchange of the accidentally powerfulThis fragment gives some indication of the essay's thesis or position.

Power is gained and exercised in many different ways; through institutions, knowledge, or brute force.General Statement introducing topic and key subject concept. HoweverTransition word signalling more interest around the subject concept of power by introducing an additional idea and more detail around power., power can also be gained and exercised by accident. According to Jared Diamond’s 1995 book Guns, Germs and Steel, modern civilisations developed through the happy accident of certain climatic and geographic conditions, allowing for the development of static, agrarian societies. In addition, the ready availability of food due to cultivation of crops and domestication of animals such as sheep and cattle allowed static societies to increase in population. Furthermore, large populations created institutionalised powers such as monarchies, governments, militaries and religions; powers that often combined to subjugate weaker populations, to spread religious ideologies, and to increase a society’s land holdings. Background information around the topic is presented as the writer moves towards the specific focus of the assignment. In this case, it is the notion of a relationship being formed between power and exchange and contextual information provided. However, two of the most powerful accidents that arose from civilisation was diseases such as smallpox, and immunity against them. It is true, the origins of the highly infectious smallpox virus are not entirely clear; however, the disease is known to have evolved and spread as communities grew larger and began to interact with each other through trade, military incursion and the exchange of religious ideologies. States the specific focus of the topic and clearly identifies the global network to be discussed in the case study. It is here that the writer clearly communicates how the small pox was spread through routes of exchange. Therefore, the accidental power of immunity to smallpox held by Spanish invaders, along with the power of their religious narrative, was exploited to devastating effect during the colonial expansion into South America; conversely, the smallpox vaccine was returned along many of the same routes, through the directed power of knowledge, resulting in the disease’s eradication in 1979. Thesis statement identifying position on the topic. Here the writer goes beyond informing the reader of the spread of small pox through exchange routes, but suggests implications of topic to be discussed in the body of the case study. This indicates the pattern and organisational structure of the essay, aptly, an outline of what will be critically analysed throughout.

Modern research suggests that smallpox evolved in the Fertile Crescent — a stretch of land covering parts of eastern Egypt, Syria, Jordan, Turkey and Iraq (Diamond, 1997, p. 135) - and spread through the region’s burgeoning civilisations. Topic Sentence of body paragraph one suggests the paragraph will explore the origins of small pox and possible ways the disease was spread Furthermore, smallpox possibly evolved through the zoonotic transfer of the cowpox virus, a disease of rodents that can infect cows (Fenner, Henderson, Arita, Ježek, Ladnyi, 1988, p. 118). Accordingly, the domestication of cattle, one of the hallmarks of early civilisation, may have resulted in the emergence of a highly contagious virus. In addition, the rise of static agrarian communities with large, steady populations (as compared to nomadic hunter-gatherer societies) that resulted from the development of irrigated agriculture, allowed the ready exchange of disease within communitiesThis section of the first body paragraph provides examples from scholarly publications as to how the disease may have spread.

Notice the in-text citation lists all 5 authors. In subsequent citations in the same paragraph only the first author is listed followed by et al.

In this instance it would be (Fenner et al., 1988) (Diamond, 1997, pp. 86-92).You must reference every idea or piece of information that you did not invent yourself. It doesn't matter if you write it in your own words, if you did not invent that idea, then you must acknowledge the people responsible for it.This is an example of an in-text citation using the APA author date style with the inclusion of a page number reference With this in mind, it is important to understand how disease is exchanged within individual communities, and from communities to wider populations.Concluding sentence introduces the sub-topic to be discussed next. With this idea in mind what do you think will be the focus of the next paragraph?

In the early stages of a civilisation’s development, when populations were only small, widespread clusters of people, a disease such as smallpox affected the entire community; the virus struck down adults and children alike. However, without a continuous supply of susceptible victims, the disease was unable to support itself and died out, only to return as an epidemic when a new generation arrived. This paragraph does discuss how the disease was exchanged within individual communities . It also leads to the important position that smallpox piggybacked networks of human exchange . The writer is able to clearly provide evidence from scholarly publications to support this.Furthermore, as populations grew, so did the number of susceptible victims and smallpox epidemics increased in frequency (Hopkins, 1983, p. 8). As a result, adults in a community developed a level of immunity and the disease eventually became endemic; a common disease of childhood that left few people untouched. In fact, according to William McNeill (1976) “by a paradox…the more diseased a community, the less destructive its epidemics becomes" (p. 223), in short, the more frequent the smallpox outbreaks, the fewer people died.This sentence includes a direct quote from the McNeil text. Note the author details are part of the sentence. Therefore the page number appears at the end of the quote. Furthermore, a community that harboured smallpox constituted a cluster of disease that, through short cuts provided by trade or messengers for example, exchanged the disease with other clusters of people (Watts, 2003, p. 180). In this manner, smallpox was able to piggyback on networks of human exchange, and therefore, its route through the world is easily traced.The final sentence also indications the next move in the case study – the writer will be moving on to analyse and present examples of how easy it was for smallpox to spread through particular routes of exchange.

As human populations became more mobile and trade routes expanded, the exchange of disease occurred along with the exchange of goods. Indeed, the passage of smallpox throughout the world is easily mapped through historical records of epidemics.This body paragraph topic sentence suggest that the writer will be exploring the idea that the disease was spread through exchange of goods and examples provided where the disease was recorded (or mapped) through historical records. For example, Academic reporting word used to give example. Do you know any other reporting words that could be used to introduce an example? from the Fertile Crescent the disease made its way to India and Egypt in ancient times, Greece circa 430 BCE, China circa 250 BCE (possibly via the invading Hun armies), Rome circa 166 BCE, eastern France circa 550 CE (again via invading Hun armies), from France to northern Italy circa 573 CE, and from China and Korea to Japan circa 552 CE (Geddes, 2006, p. 153; Glynn & Glynn, 2004, pp. 1, 6-19). Furthermore, research suggests that smallpox may have arrived on the Australian continent prior to white settlement by way of Indonesian fishermen who may have contracted it through trading with their northern neighbours This entire section of the paragraph provides evidence to support claims around smallpox transfer through the global network of exchange of goods and army activity and trade.

Also note the in-text citation. More than one work is cited. Citations must be listed in alphabetical order and separated by a semi-colon (Campbell, 2002, p. 9).Every reference serves a purpose. You use information in your assignments. You must always acknowledge when you are using information that came from someone other than yourself, and you should do it in a way that makes the original source easy to find.

Your in text references are flags to the person reading your assignment, saying:

This information actually comes from somewhere: I didn't just make it up, but actually did some research, go to the reference list to see how good my sources are.

They should always do something useful in your assignment. Don't just include quotes and information so you can "pad out" your reference list. Every piece of information serves a purpose and goes towards proving your answer to the question. However, the most effective route of transfer came through the exercise of military and religious power. Concluding sentence suggest the next focus or subtopic to be discussed. The transfer of smallpox through military and religious power. What is interesting to note here, is the writer starts to give value to some arguments and routes of transfer over others. Furthermore, the writer is mapping the details of smallpox and exchange, exploring interconnections and the impact of power.

The militaristic expansion of the Islamic faith throughout the Middle East and Western Europe in the seventh and eighth centuries CE provided many opportunities for the disease to create new networks of infection (Glynn & Glynn, 2004, p. 18-19). The topic sentence suggests a relationship between small pox spreading and military and religious powerFurthermore, the Christian Crusades in the Middle East during the twelfth century CE, and subsequent return of the Crusaders, resulted in the disease making its way further into mainland Europe (and from there to Iceland, Greenland and Sweden), where it eventually became endemic (Fenner et al., 1988, p. 229). Similarly, when Buddhism was introduced to Japan in the sixth century CE, by way of China and Korea, smallpox came with it (Geddes, 2006, p. 153; Glynn & Glynn, 2004 p. 19). In fact, the outbreak of this previously unseen, virulent disease coincided on two occasions with the arrival of a Buddhist delegation. The initial response from the Japanese was that their Shinto gods were angry, and Buddhism was proscribed. However, on the second occasion the belief grew that the outbreak was a result of the Buddhist gods’ anger, and the emperor adopted the religion (Glynn & Glynn, 2004, p. 20). Specific example of the connection between smallpox outbreaks and Religion, cleverly, through the careful selection of evidence the writer cohesively makes the connection visible and is able to discuss how there is an intimate relationship between the power of religion and smallpox.With this in mind, it is easy to observe the power of religious narrative that has gone hand-in-hand with the transmission of smallpox, particularly in its devastating spread through South America.The concluding statement provides another opportunity to reinforce thesis or position. Use of subtle language and hedging expressions throughout suggest to the reader that there is a relationship between the spread of smallpox and global networks of exchange and in all evidence provided the concept of power was interrelated.

The discovery and subsequent colonisation of the South American continent by Spanish forces provided a new and vulnerable population for smallpox to exploit. Further, both the Catholic invaders and native population regarded the virus as a form of “divine punishment” (McNeill, 1976, p. 208). For example, both the Aztecs and Incans were decimated by smallpox epidemics engendered by the Spanish incursion and most likely spread by messengers bringing news of the “invasion of the ‘bearded men’” (Nikiforuk, 1991, p. 74). Consequently, the Spanish defeated the natives, despite their superior numbers, and hence, believed that God approved of their mission. In fact, one observer stated, “[w]hen the Christians were exhausted from war, God saw fit to send the Indians smallpox” (as cited in Glynn & Glynn, 2004, p. 31; Nikiforuk, 1991, p. 72). Conversely, the Aztecs saw the epidemic as punishment, and believed that their own gods had abandoned them. Moreover, evidence that the invaders were not at the mercy of this divine punishment (thanks to immunity derived from the disease’s endemic status in Europe) caused the Aztecs to believe that the invader’s god was more powerful than their own and so, flock to the Catholic religion (McNeill, 1976, p. 208; Nikiforuk, 1991, p 74). However, the introduction of variolation (applying infectious material to a small wound to induce immunity) to England in 1721 (Hopkins, 1983, p. 48) blunted the power of the religious narrative.While this paragraph provides more evidence and examples of how small pox was spread through religion and military forces , it communicates how narratives or beliefs became powerful ideologies in one instance and in another completely stripped away, highlighting the significance of power , in one instance religious ideologies justified the outbreak, and medical advancements, challenged it. This demonstrates the complexity and play of power within the global network.

Lady Mary Wortley Montagu is credited for introducing the process of variolation to England, after witnessing its success in Turkey (Fenner et al., 1988, p. 254); although, despite its success the procedure was not approved of by the church. In fact, the Reverend Edmund Massey (1722) preached that smallpox was “a trial, a punishment sent by God, as in Job’s boils” (as cited in Glynn & Glynn, 2004, p. 6). Further, he stated, “[t]he power to inflict disease rests with God alone, and it is He who gives power to heal” (p. 64). However, the reality of the disfiguring, often fatal disease and the possibility of protecting against it proved a more powerful narrative, and one supported by another powerful institution: the monarchy. In fact, later in 1721, and through the power of royal privilege, Caroline of Ansbach, the Princess of Wales, acquired six condemned criminals (and later, six charity-children) to test the procedure on (Glynn & Glynn, p. 53-54; Hopkins, p. 49). Once the procedure proved effective, the princess had her own children successfully variolated against smallpox. This entire paragraph highlights the interconnections between contrasting belief systems and power relations.As a resultAcademic Reporting words to indicate a result in this concluding sentence of this royal approval, the procedure was adopted by other aristocratic families and eventually studied in greater depth by Edward Jenner, who went on to develop a vaccine, derived from cowpox, in 1796 (Campbell, 2006, p. 13).

Jenner’s vaccine proved highly successful and was disseminated worldwide along many of the same networks of exchange (e.g. trade) that smallpox had originally exploited. The final body paragraph indicates how networks of exchange was also the route to disseminate the smallpox vaccine and highlights again the significance and role of power within the global network of exchange.In an ironic twist, King Carlos IV of Spain was one of the greatest proponents of the Jennerian vaccine. In 1803 he issued a royal order to promulgate the vaccine among his dominions in the New World “to ameliorate the havoc wrought by the frequent smallpox epidemics” (Hopkins, 1983, p. 224)Include page numbers if directly quoting someone else’s words. When paraphrasing or summarising, page numbers may also be included. Insert page numbers after the year, separated by a comma. Use the abbreviations p. for single page, and pp. for a page range, e.g. pp. 11-12.

Make sure you check your subject outline for specific instructions. Some lecturers will require you to include page numbers for every in-text citation, whether you are quoting, summarising or paraphrasing.

This is the case with BA1002; a “havoc” that would never have occurred if the Spanish had not introduced the disease in the first place. FurthermoreAcademic Word to introduce an additional idea to cement the overall position of the case study., over the ensuing two and half centuries, institutionalised powers worldwide took it upon themselves to bring about the eradication of smallpox through concentrated vaccination efforts.As a result, the disease was formally declared eradicated in 1979, an outcome that could not come about without the combination of power, both accidental and directed, and exchange.This concluding statement of the final body paragraph suggests one final time the relationship, be it accidental or directed, the spread of smallpox and its eradication was dependent on power.

Through the happy accident of climate and geography that allowed civilisations to develop in the Fertile Crescent, societies have evolved into what we know today. However, the same happy accident that allowed populations to grow and develop in the Fertile Crescent came at a terrible cost to the populations of the South America. The power of a virulent disease travelling along human routes of exchange, and the accidental power conferred by immunity to smallpox, resulted in the destruction of Aztec and Incan societies.The conclusion relates back to the case study focus, reiterates the thesis (position) and relates the most important pieces of evidence supporting the position taken. Thankfully, the power of knowledge, combined with the directed power wielded by worldwide institutions, resulted in the eradication of smallpox from the natural environment, and modern populations no longer need to fear this virulent, disfiguring disease. This final sentence suggests the significance of the findings and implications.

ReferencesFor this essay you MUST find two new references but may also use up to four references from your Subject Reader.

For APA the reference list is arranged in alphabetical order of authors' surnames.

If a reference has no author, list it alphabetically according to the title.

Ignore the words 'A' and 'The' at the beginning of a title.
If there are two references by the same author, list them in order of publication date with the older one first.
If references by the same author have been published in the same year, list them alphabetically by title. Letters a, b, etc. are placed after the year, e.g. (2001a), (2001b)

Campbell, J. (2002). Invisible invaders: Smallpox and other diseases 1780-1880. Melbourne University Press.This is the format for a book using APA style.

Author, A. A. (year of publication). Title of work. Location: Publisher.

Diamond, J. (1997).Guns, germs and steel. Notice the title is in "sentence case" and in italics
(Sentence case is when you only capitalise the first letter of the first word in a heading – like you would in a sentence.) Proper nouns also have a capital. Random House.

Fenner, F., Henderson, D. A., Arita, A., Ježek, Z. & Ladnyi, I. D. List up to and including twenty authors in your reference list.

It is acceptable to use an ampersand (&) when listing authors, but not in the title of a work.

If there are more than twenty authors, after the twentieth author's name and initials, use ... and then the last authors surname and initials.(1988). Smallpox and its eradication. World Health Organisation. https://apps.who.int/iris/handle/10665/39485

Geddes, A. M. (2006). The history of smallpox. Clinics in Dermatology, 24For journal articles only the TITLE of the JOURNAL and the VOLUME NUMBER are italicised. Also note that the journal title is in "title case" (i.e. the first letter of each word is capitalised)

Note that the article title is in sentence case and is not italicised.(3), 152-157.include the issue number in brackets followed by a comma and the page number range for journal articles and chapters from edited books.

Note that p. is only included for in-text citations and is omitted from pagination in the reference list https://doi.org/10.1016/j.clindermatol.2005.11.009 DOI (digital object identifier) is a unique string of letters and numbers that provides a persistent link to content online.

The APA referencing style specifies that if you can find one, a DOI should be used for resources like online journal articles.

Glynn, I. & Glynn, J. (2004). The life and death of smallpox. Profile Books. Sources are the origins of content (e.g., data, information and knowledge) that the writer uses to inform their own ideas. Relevance describes the strength of connection between content from a source and the purpose of the writing. This source in particular provides evidence to link networks and power relevant to the topic of the essay.

Hopkins, D. R. (1983). Princes and peasants. University of Chicago.Give the name of the publisher for books, reports, brochures, and other nonperiodical publications.

McNeill, W. H. (1976). Plagues and peoples. Anchor/Doubleday.

Nikiforuk, A. (1991). The smallpox conquest: Biological imperialism. In A. Nikiforuk (Ed.), The fourth horseman. (pp. 63-86). Fourth Estate.The reason for citing a chapter in a edited book is to properly credit both the author(s) of the chapter and the editor(s) of the book. If the entire book is by the same person, this isn't necessary.

Therefore the example below, rather than the one used by the author would be CORRECT:

Nikiforuk, A. (1991). The fourth horseman. Fourth Estate.

Watts, D. J. (2002). Chapter six: Epidemics and Failures. Six degrees: The science of a connected age. Norton.As stated above, the reason for citing a chapter in a edited book is to properly credit both the author(s) of the chapter and the editor(s) of the book. If the entire book is by the same person, this isn't necessary.

Therefore the example below, rather than that used by the author would be CORRECT:

Watts, D. J. (2002). Six degrees: The science of a connected age. Norton.

Note. This essay is formatted in the APA Style. Namely, double line spacing with each paragraph indented on the first line. Find out more from our Referencing Guide.